GMPT - Everything Else

Happy Thanksgiving

ROKTMAN — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:14:30 GMT

An early Happy Thanksgiving to all since I`ll be in St.Louis tuning next week. Hope you all have a safe and Happy Turkey Day.

FYI....Here is a pic of how pumpkin pies are made.

Attached Thumbnails

Observations

ROKTMAN — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:58:41 GMT

Observations
1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn�t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

4. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. �Yes� is the answer.

5. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it�s still on the list.

6. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

7. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

8. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

9. If I agreed with you, we�d both be wrong.

10. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

11. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without a sandwich, look out.

12. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don�t have a good partner, you�d better have a good hand.

13. War does not determine who is right � only who is left...left, oh ya they are the ones holding the protest signs.

14. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

15. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

16. Going to church doesn�t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

17. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

18. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.
Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

19. Evening news is where they begin with �Good evening�, and then proceed to tell you why it isn�t.

20. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-*****.
__________________

Tools......Defined

ROKTMAN — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:36:01 GMT

DRILL PRESS:
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL:
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Oh, sh!t!"

SKILL SAW:
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS:
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER:
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW:
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS:
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race..

TABLE SAW:
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW:
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name
implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR:
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER:
A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER:
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE:
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

Son of a b*tch TOOL:
Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "Son of a bitch" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

New Direction For War

ROKTMAN — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:18:55 GMT

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists.. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical SOB....

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them.. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real stretch.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

***How about recruiting Women over 50 .....with PMS !!! You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my Lord!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol.....we will have it secured the first night!

Happy Veteran`s Day

ROKTMAN — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 07:07:58 GMT

To all of those who served,gave the ultimate sacrifice and defended our freedoms.

Thank you for your service to our country!

Scam Alert

ROKTMAN — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:44:04 GMT

Since I know that a few of you out there fit this description I figured I
best get the info out as quickly as possible.
>>
>> Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and
>> in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for
>> men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. A
>> 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Lowe's, Home Depot, or Costco
>>
>> customers. This one caught me by surprise..
>>
>>
>> Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out
>> shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite
>> traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or
>> your friends. Here's how the scam works:
>>
>> Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as
>> you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping
>>
>> your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling
>> out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you
>> thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a
>> ride to McDonalds. You agree and they get into the back seat. On
>>
>> the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the
>> front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals
>> your wallet.
>>
>> I had my wallet stolen June 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th,17th, 20th,
>> 24th, & 29th. Also July 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th &
>> 28th,
>>
>> three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend. So
>> tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage
>> of older men.
>>
>> Warn your friends to be vigilant.
>>
>>
>>
>> Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for
>> $1.99 at K- Mart and bought them out. Also, you never will get to eat at
>> McDonalds. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to
>> Lowe's, Home Depot, and Costco
>>

Circle Flies

ROKTMAN — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:00:00 GMT

A Redneck from Georgia attends a social function where Barack Obama is trying to gather more support for his Health Plan.

Once he discovers the redneck in attendance, he starts to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.

As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The redneck says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?"

Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies."

"Well Sir," the redneck replies, "circle flies hang around farms. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

"Oh," Obama replies as he goes back to rambling. But, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ass?"

"No, Sir," the redneck replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their President a horse's ass."

"That's a good thing," Obama responds and begins rambling on once more.

After a long pause, the redneck, in his best southern drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies, though."

Banned From Target

ROKTMAN — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:41:32 GMT

After I retired, my girlfried insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my girlfriend is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear girlfriend received the following letter from our local Target.

Dear Ms. Sonnycalf,

Over the past six months, your boyfriend has caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your boyfriend, Mr. Breiner, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he would invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

7. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

8. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

9. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

10. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

11. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

12. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

13. October 20: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

14. October 21: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

Things That Make You Say Aw Crap

ROKTMAN — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:15:50 GMT

30 Things That Will Make you Say ‘Aww Crap’ | CricketSoda.com

More Uses For The i Phone

ROKTMAN — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 21:03:29 GMT

YouTube - banned iphone commercial

i Phone Apps

ROKTMAN — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 16:30:45 GMT

YouTube - LEAKED: New iPhone Commercial

Bouncing Breasts Study

ROKTMAN — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 03:16:31 GMT

FOXNews.com - Bras Don't Support Bouncing Breasts, Study Finds - Science News | Science & Technology | Technology News

Think Before You Speak

ROKTMAN — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 21:21:26 GMT

Smile and appreciate the good points of each day!

Think before you speak...

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
The last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
Immediately take the words back...
Or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
And asked loudly,
'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
He knew better..

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and
Passed by a store that sold a
Variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
The boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day,
My sister has neve r let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
My toddler decided to release
Some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
Her after receiving looks of disgust
And annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
'right now' she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
Kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
Walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco,
I smelled something funny,
So of course I checked
My seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
The realized that Danny
Had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go,
And he said 'No' .
I kept thinking
'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.'
Then I said,
' Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, ' Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
Bent over, spread his cheeks
And yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
Thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
And a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
In the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
The day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
Turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
But half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Now, didn't that feel good?

Fujita Intake Systems......FREE SHIPPING

zandeauto — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 06:41:56 GMT

Find the Fujita Intake Systems you are looking for at the lowest prices the manufacturer will allow. On top of that shipping is currently FREE.

Fujita Cold Air Intake Systems | Short Ram Mass Air Intakes | Performance | Filters

Yikes

jamz — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:16:17 GMT

BP v Royal Purple

ROKTMAN — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 23:11:37 GMT

Truth in Advertising: BP v. Royal Purple

By George Gill

Royal Purple Ltd. was black and blue after BP Lubricants USA took it to task over advertising claims for its synthetic motor oil, finding a receptive audience in the advertising industry�s self-regulatory forum.

The National Advertising Division of the Council of Better Business Bureaus recommended Porter, Texas-based Royal Purple modify or discontinue numerous advertising claims for its synthetic motor oil, following a challenge by Wayne, N.J.-based BP Lubricants. The NAD examined comparative performance and superiority claims in print, broadcast and Internet advertising. In some of the advertising, Royal Purple compared its performance to Castrol, Shell, Amsoil and other motor oil brands.

NAD recommended that Royal Purple discontinue its use of consumer testimonials reporting specific performance attributes in the absence of reliable independent evidence showing performance capability.

�Anecdotal evidence based solely on the experiences of individual consumers is insufficient to support product efficacy claims, including claims related to horsepower, torque, fuel economy or engine heat,� the organization stated. �While the advertiser may quote from published articles if it provides clear and conspicuous attribution to the publisher, it may not rely on such articles to support efficacy claims for which it has no reliable independent validation.�

NAD recommended Royal Purple discontinue claims such as �Increases horsepower and torque by as much as 3 percent,� �Reduces Engine Wear by 80 percent,� �Superior Oxidation Stability� and �Provides Film Strength Up to 400 Percent.�

�If industry-standard tests or tests with carefully documented controls were abandoned, there would be no basis whatsoever for making any meaningful claims about the relative efficacy of motor oils,� BP said in its challenge.

NAD recommended that Royal Purple discontinue claims that stated, �Improves fuel economy by as much as 5 percent� and �Fuel economy improvement up to 5 percent or more� because its Environmental Protection Agency testing was inconclusive and the �Oklahoma State Study� and single cylinder Labeco CLR diesel engine testing cited in Royal Purple�s advertising was not relevant. The NAD noted the 1997 OSU Study was �outdated and nothing in the record demonstrated that the formulations of the competitors� oils were similar to those available for sale on the market today.�

BP Lubricants said it hired the independent laboratory Southwest Research Institute, in San Antonio, to analyze power output of gasoline engines with Royal Purple Oil and with BP�s Castrol oil for comparisons. �The results were provided to the challenger�s expert statistician who was not informed of the identity of the candidate oils,� NAD stated. �The challenger�s [BP�s] expert determined a 0.9 percent difference in power between the oils, which did not rise to the level of statistical significance, and is well below the 3 percent claim made by the advertiser.�

SwRI did additional tests to independently determine the differences in fuel economy, emissions data and engine temperature between Royal Purple and Castrol motor oils. According to SwRI, �there was no statistically significant difference between the fuel economy, emissions data or engine temperature between the two candidate oils,� NAD said.

Following its review of the non-anecdotal evidence in the record, NAD recommended that Royal Purple discontinue the claims, �Reduces emissions up to 20 percent or more� and �Reductions in emissions of 20 percent or more� because the studies on which the claims were based were outdated and not consumer-relevant.

NAD also recommended the advertiser discontinue its unsupported claim that Royal purple motor oil is �API/ILSAC Certified.� Noting that API and ILSAC licenses and certifications have many categories with different meanings, the NAD recommended that the company discontinue its claim that its synthetic oils are �generally �API/ILSAC Certified.��

In fact, no Royal Purple products are certified to current ILSAC specifications.

The American Petroleum Institute licenses its trademarked Service Symbol, or �donut,� for display on qualified engine oils, and also licenses the ILSAC �starburst� logo for oils that meet the auto industry�s latest energy-conserving standards. In API�s online directory of licensees for its Engine Oil Licensing and Certification Program, Royal Purple has a total of 23 passenger car and diesel engine oil products listed, all licensed to use the API donut. Five of these may additionally display the words �energy conserving� within the donut logo, but none of the Royal Purple products are licensable to the current ILSAC GF-4 specification and they cannot display the starburst logo.

Royal Purple also voluntarily agreed to discontinue the claims, �most advanced,� �unsurpassed performance� and �unparalleled performance,� steps the NAD said were necessary and proper to avoid confusion in the marketplace.

�While Royal Purple also believes that the tests and testimonials it supplied as evidence accurately portray the benefits of using its synthetic oil in a wide variety of applications, it defers to the NAD�s position that those tests and testimonials alone are insufficient to support specific performance attribute claims in consumer advertising,� the company said in its response to NAD. �... [Royal Purple] has already made changes to its advertising in accordance with the NAD recommendations and will continue to implement NAD�s recommendations and analysis in developing Royal Purple�s future advertising.�

BP Lubricants did not return phone calls from Lube Report requesting comment on NAD�s decision.

Good Oil Info

ROKTMAN — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 23:10:35 GMT

Bob Is The Oil Guy - Forums powered by UBB.threads�

Tattoo

ROKTMAN — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 01:24:10 GMT

Saw a guy with a Honda logo and "4 Life" tattoo below it on his calf.What a `tard.

World`s Shortest Books

ROKTMAN — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 06:58:06 GMT

The World's Shortest Books:

BLACKS I�VE MET WHILE YACHTING

by Ted Kennedy

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda and Cindy Sheehan.
Illustrated by Michael Moore
________________________________________

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS &
HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
_______________________________________

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
by Hillary Clinton
________________________________
Sequel:
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY

by Bill Clinton
___________________________________

MY BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE

by Osama Bin Laden
___________________________________

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD

by Bill Gates

____________________________________

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY

by Dennis Rodman
_________________________________

THINGS I KNOW TO BE TRUE

by Al Gore & John Kerry

_____________________________________
AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

___________________________________

A COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES

by Dr. J. Kevorkian

__________________________________
ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE

by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnell

____________________________________
GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE

by Mike Tyson

__________________________________
THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

_______________________________________
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS

by O. J. Simpson
_________________________________________

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES

by Ted Kennedy
___________________________________

BOOK OF MORALS

by Bill Clinton &

the Rev. Jesse Jackson
************************************************** *****

AND, JUST ADDED:

Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy!

By Nancy Pelosi

Remembering 9/11

ROKTMAN — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:16:11 GMT

Yep.I`ll never forget where I was that day.I was going on duty at 9:00 and heard the news broadcast across the police radio.We went to full alert not knowing if this was just the beginning or what was really happening.

May all the fallen heroes RIP.

Ever heard of "GM Performance" Clutch?

NemesisC6 — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:32:49 GMT

I'm going to replace my old LS7 clutch and Found this one at GM Performance website:

https://store.gmperformanceparts.com...-12570806--%3E

The part number is for the LS6 clutch (12570806 - I google'd it); but the description says "Designed for the LS2".

Anyone tried this one? Is it some kind of upgraded factory clutch or something similar?
Thank you!

Dear Tide

ROKTMAN — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 18:19:24 GMT

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it
all of my married life, as my mom always told me it was the best. Now
that I am in my forties I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white
blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring wife started to belittle me
about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the
neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood
on my new white shirt!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my
surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the
stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me
that the DNA tests on my shirt were inconclusive and then my attorney
called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the
disappearance of my wife.

What a relief! ! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go. Have to write to the Hefty bag people.

I have to remember to put Tide on my grocery list!!!

Cash For Clunkers

ROKTMAN — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 03:41:14 GMT

CASH 4 CLUNKERS......joke
IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.