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12-16-2003, 03:50 PM
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I think that I have been played.....
:: sigh :: man as upsetting as this year has been for me, this only makes matters worse. Most of the ppl on herewho" know"me, know that I am engaged to whom I though was a wonderful woman. Well I had purchased her christmas gift early this year. I had been eyeing this nice housecoat from Victoria Secret, which I bought her and some very tasteful lingerie (if there is such a thing). I also bought her a $400 ruby ring and a moonstone necklace to go with that. One day (before I had decided to go out and buy the ruby ring) I said to her over AIM, that I was going to go out and buy her one last thing for xmas. I get the response "I hope its not any sleazy lingerie, because I DONT want that" For some reason it really upset me. So I said fuck it and took everything from VS back. I was at home later that night, and I get on AIM again, and we start to talk. I gave her a :-* and then she goes.... "Want to read something funny?". She links me to this AOL (crackpot) forum that says I borrowed the money from some online person to buy her engagement ring, and that I was begging some other chick to live with me. :confused: So the VERY next thing that came out of her mouth was "DID you borrow the money for my engagement ring?"
Now most of you who have known me knew where that $$ came from. It was all of my car mod money. All $3800 of it to buy this ring for her, which I reminded her that she knew that. So here I am already hurt from the morning's fiasco, and now she lays his on me. So I just up and drop the connection over the computer and went to bed. Not even 30 seconds later I hear the phone ring. "Hey it's me. Don't leave it like that, talk to me" SO I start telling her what is on MY mind, and she starts to cry. I never tell her that she is not a jerk though, even though she is asking me "Do you think I'm a jerk?" I never said "NO" because she was being a complete and utter bitch at the time. So everything seems to be going "ok" I said my peice and told her that I loved her and went to bed. The very next day I get an email from her "online" buddy giving my this entire shpeel about how she didn't mean to upset me and that lingerie is just for guys, and what she REALLY wants is something with moonstone in it. How I shouldn't be mad at her at all, because its not her fault I took it like I did. (Whose fault is it, Santa Fucking Claus's?) Kicker part: TODAY: She goes and asks me to look for some gift certificate code that is saved in her mail from AOL, on her hard drive. She says she got it on the 12/8. So I opened up the email from 12/8 and looked. Its from her friend that emailed me. "Well, looks like the plan was good, I didn't get lingerie, I got the moonstone necklace that I wanted, thanks for helping out. I'm going to have Trent email him, he seems to understand me better." NOW if you were in my position.. what exactly would you think? Either I blew this entire situation out of proportion, or I am getting played from both April and her fuggin friend. I am going to go to my other house and spend a few days there I think. I just need to get away from all of this. I'm tired of all the crap about xmas. I hate xmas, I have always hated xmas, and I will continue to hate xmas as long as I live onthis planet. Now I am begining to hate women just as well. I don't kow any more, but I am seriously thinking of splitting with her now. I don't know how to tell her that I really don't trust her anymore after accidetly reading the email. (and I hate to admit it, but I started reading them all after that, because curiosity got the best of me after that) I feel so depressed, I think I am going to just go out and find something to do. - Josh...     
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12-16-2003, 04:03 PM
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Well, that chit really sucks man:( I don't know what I would do in your situation, especially since I don't know you/your history like some members do. Her 'online' buddy is a guy? He is the one that called you and talked you down. It doesn't really seem like you are getting played - just that she is a little selfish.
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12-16-2003, 04:16 PM
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No he never called me or anything. I think they know better than to call me and she knows better than to give my number out to anyone. Very few people anywhere have my home phone number. I think Gooster, Josh Combs, and Scott knows my number, I think Clint does too. As far as the email went. No one talked me down from anything. Her other friend named andrea emailed me and was like don't be mad at her (if that is what you meant). I try not to let on too much into my personal life (except the have you ever thread, that was too much fun), but sometimes it just gets overwhelming and I need an outside look at things going on with me.
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12-16-2003, 04:37 PM
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From someone who knows, how you are feeling. (also engaged :D )
Don't read her email, and tell her to change her password (if nessassary) otherwize it will only get you in trouble. Change your email password, so she does not get in to your's. Remember Every Relationship has its bumps. This is one of the bumps. Ride it out. Christmas is only what your mind makes it, its gonna happen either way.
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12-16-2003, 05:27 PM
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Thanks J, your right, I appreciate it. I just have had this feeling that she is seeing someone else for a while now, or that I have just been "along to pick up her pieces and to help her. For a while now its just been a one way street. :( But this is actually the first major down in almost 3 years of knowing each other, so hat is not too bad.
- Josh
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12-16-2003, 06:58 PM
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Quote:
I hope what u say ain't true. In my view you need to talk on the phone .. f**k the AIM stuff.. it's not close enough. Instead of asking her outright if she is seeing someone else.. ask it differently.. less confrontational.. ask her if she WANTS to see other people.. depending on her answer.. you answer honestly back.. Also, this doesn't seem like a major down.. as i've read it.. some people are more material than others.. and she may be just working some magic to give you a clue what she wants.. The brain will play tricks on you if you don't seek the answers with your heart. Hope it works out for you.. and if you are going down a one-way street.. better you know now before it's too late to turn around.
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12-16-2003, 07:21 PM
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12-16-2003, 10:13 PM
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wait a sec, April and I pretty much live together when I am not going to college. So we always talk on the phone and in person. But I was at college talking to her on AIM, that is how it all started. So after college and my finals, I went home to check the email (which was later than I am used to) She was online (this was about 9:30, which she usually goes to bed around 8:30 so it suprised me) Then she hit me with that, I was just so overwhelmed with the finals and the earlier days events that this one I was just sick of it. That's all. Yeah that is good advice.
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12-16-2003, 11:01 PM
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jeremy makes a good point, but i don't wholly agree with him. although I do realize the importance of respecting others' privacy, i believe you SHOULD stay out of her email IF you don't have a good reason or suspicion. reading her mail isn't gonna get you in trouble, it could get her in trouble. on the other hand, i'm not telling you to snoop on her by any means. but i'm saying. you've had suspicions about her lately... and its not "just because," there are conditions that make you feel this way. therefore, i think in the long run, the situation could get WORSE if she was doing something wrong and you DIDN't know about it. so just use your mind... do what you feel is best.
oh, and believe me, I can relate to your feeling, even though i'm not technically engaged quite yet. i've gone through these feelings and situations, and its not fun at all. i do respect you for one thing in particular about these situations... you speak your mind, that is such a good thing. something i need to get better at. but of course whenever i try to, i'm just "being an asshole" :rolleyes: well keep us updated, i hope you pull through this on the upside like you have in the past bud.
__________________
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12-17-2003, 12:09 AM
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allright my two cynical cents.
There is no woman on this planet worth a darn. They all cheat, they lie, they backstab, and none of them are worth a man's a time.
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2005 Pontiac GTO 12.75 @ 110mph LS2/T56. Torrid Red/Anthracite Black. Mods: 160 thermostat, MVP drag bags, CAI inc. air box, SLP long tube headers, Spintech mufflers, SLP 455 tune, factory rear wheels widened to 9". 1994 Buick Roadmaster Sedan. LT1/4L60e. Ruby Red Metallic. Mods: K&N FIPK.
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12-17-2003, 02:17 AM
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and thats why you are a homo...lol...
peace
__________________
Daddy as of June 16, 2005!!
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12-17-2003, 05:02 AM
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If you read your partners email and you approach them about it. Things can not get any better. If you find they are going behind your back doing stuff wrong/bad, and you find out while logged in to her email and you tell her that or she figures it out. Then she will not trust you because you went behind her back looking at her email. See what I mean? That Can Only End POORLY. If you think something is going on, ask her. Or ignore it and hope it goes away (like a knocking engine, hoping it will get better)
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12-17-2003, 09:01 AM
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lol, knocking engines do NOT get better. Wel, I would have never even gotten into her email if she had not asked me to in the first place. Then after reading that one that I opened looking for something else, curiosity got the best of me. I know I shouldn't have read the emails and I feel guilty about that. There is no email password for these, these are saved to the hard drive. Still though, in light of this recent discovery, I'm not sure what in the flip is going on. All I know is that I think that I am going to the other house to get some time out of this situation.
- Josh
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